Me & My Doppelganger

 You look at yourself in the mirror and notice features about you that make a unique being...or do you? There are only so many features available to humans that make us each "unique." With that in mind, it is obvious that at least two of the 6.89 billion people on this planet look alike. Some of the people on this planet even look like their pets, yet it is still a shock to the system whenever we see someone that looks like our long lost twin.

I realize it is a jarring effect, but don't worry. They are people...mostly, like you. I have run into two of my doppelgangers already--Egyptian Me and Lesbian Me--and let me tell you that they were rather interesting, especially Lesbian Me.

Silly individuals of the past would have shunned their twins or worse, but here are a few rules on how to meet your doppelganger.

1. Let it happen - Much like a solar eclipse or a fist fight at a wedding you can't force meeting your doppelganger. Trying to find a friend to dress up like you is just plain silly and time traveling to meet a younger version of yourself doesn't count. The meeting has to be a natural and organic or how else are you going to explain it when you show up on their doorstep?
2. Be calm - Like with wild animals, if you're scared, they will be scared. Just pretend that you are Steve Irwin in the wild examining a crafty animal that isn't a sting ray. (...too soon?)
3. Get to know them - This is an important step in the process. In every twin meeting movie (basically every Olson Twins movie and The Parent Trap) it is good to know about your doppelganger for the purposes of trading places with them and or other nefarious deeds (see steps 5 and 6).
4. Win their trust - This step can vary. It can be as simple as talking to them or becoming their friend. Gaining trust may take a little time, but it will be extremely useful for any fun practical jokes and or nefarious deeds (again, see steps 5 and 6).
5. Pin your screw ups and/or crimes on them - Before cameras were installed in almost every workplace, it was simple to place blame for your mistakes on the new guy. That task has become a little more difficult since the untrusting boss came across the cheap camera system. Normally that would matter, but now you have someone that looks just like you that you can blame. Goody!
6. Attempt to steal their significant other - Now that your doppelganger may or may not be unemployed and/or in jail, you may feel free to attempt to squeeze into their place for their personal relationship. It may be hard at first, but in time their significant other may grow to like the real you. Just keep in mind to make that happen before your doppelganger gets out of prison, there is a time limit.

Just Remember: Doppelgangers can do this to you as well, so make your attempt first or have a shitty life that they don't want to steal.

-Future_Man_3000

P.S. - If you have any questions you want answered, feel free to contact me by email: futureman3000@yahoo.com