Leaving Your Mark

A dear friend of mine told me a while back that his greatest fear is not being remembered. I find this is interesting because neither of us are famous or super amazing to the point that we could be famous so his logic makes sense. Let us look at the facts: I'm a writer that may or may not be doomed to obscurity if I'm not interesting enough and my friend works in a store. I agree that we probably won't be C.S. Lewis, John Belushi, or Nikola Tesla. This is normally where people go along saying crap like you will be remembered through your family and friends or something like that. That statement is good and all, but think of the flip side of it. If either of us were to become famous then people would try to find something wrong with us if we were living or dead.

John Belushi was a great actor and comedian, but there was an equal focus on his addictions. Nikola Tesla was an absolute genius, but people also focused on his craziness. Even in his life time, Edison tried to discredit Tesla for having major issues with minor things A lot of the things we use today were created by Tesla and we still talk about his faults. C.S. Lewis (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) gave the world the wonderful tale of Alice in Wonderland, but anytime I talk about him with colleagues I find that they only focus on Lewis's pedophilia. 


It seems there are a few ways to be famous while not having people focus on your faults:

A Pharaoh to Remember

-The Weird Al Method - Be an amazing person that never does anything wrong and is famous. (Of course, the freaking impossible way.)
-The Bjork/Gaga/Minaj Method - Be amazingly crazy in the name of art.
-The Robert Downy Jr. Method - Own up to your faults. Admitting the problem and pushing past it is a great way too.
-The Question Method - Do something great and sever any connection to it.
-The Bender Method - Enslave a bunch of people and force them to build an outrageously large monument to yourself.



Just Remember: Being remembered isn't all it's cracked up to be. People either remember everything or interpret what they don't understand.





-Future_Man_3000


P.S. - If you have any questions you want answered, feel free to contact me by email: futureman3000@yahoo.com 

Me & My Doppelganger

 You look at yourself in the mirror and notice features about you that make a unique being...or do you? There are only so many features available to humans that make us each "unique." With that in mind, it is obvious that at least two of the 6.89 billion people on this planet look alike. Some of the people on this planet even look like their pets, yet it is still a shock to the system whenever we see someone that looks like our long lost twin.

I realize it is a jarring effect, but don't worry. They are people...mostly, like you. I have run into two of my doppelgangers already--Egyptian Me and Lesbian Me--and let me tell you that they were rather interesting, especially Lesbian Me.

Silly individuals of the past would have shunned their twins or worse, but here are a few rules on how to meet your doppelganger.

1. Let it happen - Much like a solar eclipse or a fist fight at a wedding you can't force meeting your doppelganger. Trying to find a friend to dress up like you is just plain silly and time traveling to meet a younger version of yourself doesn't count. The meeting has to be a natural and organic or how else are you going to explain it when you show up on their doorstep?
2. Be calm - Like with wild animals, if you're scared, they will be scared. Just pretend that you are Steve Irwin in the wild examining a crafty animal that isn't a sting ray. (...too soon?)
3. Get to know them - This is an important step in the process. In every twin meeting movie (basically every Olson Twins movie and The Parent Trap) it is good to know about your doppelganger for the purposes of trading places with them and or other nefarious deeds (see steps 5 and 6).
4. Win their trust - This step can vary. It can be as simple as talking to them or becoming their friend. Gaining trust may take a little time, but it will be extremely useful for any fun practical jokes and or nefarious deeds (again, see steps 5 and 6).
5. Pin your screw ups and/or crimes on them - Before cameras were installed in almost every workplace, it was simple to place blame for your mistakes on the new guy. That task has become a little more difficult since the untrusting boss came across the cheap camera system. Normally that would matter, but now you have someone that looks just like you that you can blame. Goody!
6. Attempt to steal their significant other - Now that your doppelganger may or may not be unemployed and/or in jail, you may feel free to attempt to squeeze into their place for their personal relationship. It may be hard at first, but in time their significant other may grow to like the real you. Just keep in mind to make that happen before your doppelganger gets out of prison, there is a time limit.

Just Remember: Doppelgangers can do this to you as well, so make your attempt first or have a shitty life that they don't want to steal.

-Future_Man_3000

P.S. - If you have any questions you want answered, feel free to contact me by email: futureman3000@yahoo.com