Future Grammar

I may have misspoken in side the time sphere. I'm sure I will go back and fix those weeks I didn't post anything...eventually. One thing I have noticed on my trips to the past was that there is a Science Fiction channel named SyFy and a mystery channel called Cloo on cable. For those of you that love that, there is bad news for you coming on the horizon. In the near future, there happens to be an intense bout with illiteracy in the world. In the end, everyone reverts to the original spellings of things. Word creativity ends up being murdered a slow and painful death.

As it so happens, I am a rebel, an innovator, and a sklinker (that's right, I just made up a word). Sure there are other sklinkers, revivers of past abilities, and we revel in our skill against the black-and-white uniformity. It can get tiresome having the same thing, day-in, day-out, listening to Sir Mix-A-Lot. That is why we try something unique with our words.

Just Remember: It's great to be creative, but never let that get in the way of grammar.

Even Further into the Future

Fleeing into the future, I wanted to see what had become of the world, what had become of myself. The funny thing about fleeing into the future is how different things can be. Perhaps a scarred face or a an evil lair of doom. In the future, all I found was more of the same, but slightly different. Rats ceased to be, but owls had become a real infestation. A ride to the moon was no problem anymore. And, of course, politics take some sort of crazy turn. The thing that baffles me about the future is how much it can change a person. It is easy to assume that we all know who we are now, but seeing our future selves makes for an odd view. We talk about the horrors of being a face-scarred renegade or potentially becoming a run-down geriatric. Those visions may seem horrific as hell, but in truth, they aren't that bad. Having done something amazingly wild or even having done something is something spectacular.

The only thing that needs fearing is traveling to the future to find that your future self is doing what you have been doing all along. Spinning the same wheels, running around the same circle, and hoping that things will change. That must be some real horror to find that everything you ever wanted and worked for will continue to be everything you want and work for and not necessarily getting to that goal.

Just Remember: The present is always now and the future is up-and-coming. Why bother not changing where we are now to make what is up-and-coming worth the wait?

Back to the Past

Having failed to utterly destroy Taylor Swift and then getting locked in a club bathroom kind of wore on me. I needed to do something completely successful and amazing. I went back to the 1980s to the set of Back to the Future so I could steal the DeLorean from the set, but then it occurred to me, if I steal the main prop from that movie then the movie might not get made. Sad, I stayed a while to see the actors act. Then the director, Robert Zimeckis, came over to me and asked what I was doing on set. I could see from the glimmer in his eye that he wanted me in the film...at least until he had the police handcuff me and put me in their cruiser.

I couldn't escape with the time code as it was in my back pocket and couldn't easily read it. I ended up getting taken in for trespassing. The cops took everything from my pockets, including the time code. When they saw it they asked why I had a sheet of a bunch of numbers. I had them read the numbers on it for me. As the time code appeared, I grabbed my things and shoved an officer out of the way, jumping in and traveling several years into the future, ending up on the set of Back to the Future III. I got in the DeLorean and rode off into the time sphere. Apparently, the time sphere isn't car friendly so only me and half of the DeLorean made it back to the future.

Just Remember: I HAVE THE FLUX CAPACITOR, BITCHES!

New Friends: The 80's Connection

There are tons of ways people become friends: work, class, mutual friends, etc. Each way, in the simplest form, involves two people seeing each other with a certain frequency, a bridge (the bridge being something in common to open yourselves up to meeting), and allowing growth between yourselves. The bridge can range from anything from going to the same high school to minimal as liking the same song, but what happens when the two people involved focus the two steps that don't involve growth of the relationship between them? In short, you get a "friend" that will kick you in the ribs for $50.

Trademark Twentieth Century Fox

A question that should stick out at about this time is How can a friendship like this continue?

Like that a family member that goes on a diet and decides to force everyone else into as well, someone is more invested than the other. It can be scruples or how they were raised, but the one that is more invested cares for the other person. Some people during this point in perform a cost/benefit analysis of the friendship. Why should I stay friends with this person vs. Why should I stop being friends with this person. Many people do this and it is normal, but to give into demands always is foolish. If nothing changes or gets better then it must end.

Just Remember: If the other person ends up being a total schmuck, using you for your time, and the friendship has to end, it's ok. They still can't take away the good times you had together.

-Future_Man_3000


P.S. - If you have any questions you want answered, feel free to contact me by email: futureman3000@yahoo.com

Personal Growth and Time Travel

A lot of us, whether we love time travel or not, have uttered the phrase, "If only I could go back and time and tell myself..." You can fill in that blank spot with whatever you like (knowledge about soon-to-be exes, knowledge and who you could have made a potential ex, winning lotto numbers, etc.). This idea shakes some of us to our very core and has become the premise for some of the greatest movies/TV shows. A lot of these movies and shows avoid this simple idea by claiming the world will end if the time traveler where ever to meet a future or past version of his/herself.

Since we don't know much about time travel, lets assume that there is a possibility that the world-exploding-when-meeting-yourself situation doesn't actually happen. Now take an average scenario that everyone wishes they could change, something like asking out the person you had a crush on when you in high school (having found out sometime later that they had a crush on you too). There are a few possible scenarios as to what could happen:

• Nothing (The Grandfather Paradox) - Nothing would have changed at all. Your life would basically follow the same course of events. This can lead to being massively unfulfilled.  

• Minor Change - There might be some change, but it would be hardly noticeable. There would be question if the trip was actually real. While this might somewhat unsettling, it may be uplifting.  

• Major Change - You would wake up and everything around you would look entirely different. Your wife would be someone else, your kids would be different, you might have a turtle instead of a bird. The massive downside to this would be an entirely different set of facts to have to relearn and memorize. If your old significant other was pissy that you never remembered an anniversary, think how shitty the new one will be if you hadn't ever forgotten one before. This is similar to the end of Back to the Future. 

Now those potential outcomes are all well and good, but now lets think of the actual meeting. Let us look at ourselves now and then reflect on how we were back then. By nearly any account one, whether it is past or present, is better than the other. Would your younger self actually listen or be a punk? Would/Could you stand talking to your younger self? This is what would make changing one's own timeline a pain in the butt.



Just Remember: If you aren't happy with how your life is now, change it now. Don't focus on how something several years ago may have impacted your current mood.


-Future_Man_3000


P.S. - If you have any questions you want answered, feel free to contact me by email: futureman3000@yahoo.com

Good News, Everyone!

Welcome to the World of Tomorrow! Sure, there are many ways of which you could have arrived to the future: waiting, time traveling, or even cryogenic freezing. From the perspective of people who lived in the early 1900s, the new millennium must have seemed such a strange and fascinating time.

A time of hope and promise.

                                          A time of jet packs and shiny metallic clothing.

                                                                                                               A time of wisdom.

Now, in the year 2012, we can safely look back on the theories writers and crackpots had about the year 2000 and comfortably laugh at their silly notions of Utopia/Dystopia  as we fight over important matters...like who is better: Lady Gaga or Nikki Minaj?

Clearly 2012 is filled with some interesting new wisdom, but what if we could look at the present from the wisdom of the distant future, say the year 3000?

What's that you say? Timmy just crushed your only flux capacitor with his model TARDIS?


That certainly sucks, but let us use a different window into the future. I'm talking about the wisdom laid before us from the brilliance of Futurama. Using ingenious quotes from the this hit show, this blog will help us understand and attempt to get through life's daily foibles.

I hope you enjoy it.


-Future_Man_3000