Welcome to the Relationship, Buddy.

A while back, I was introduced to a series of women who, unbeknownst to our matchmaker, were already in relationships. When I would meet these ladies it would be automatically noted that they were seeing someone and, my personality being what it is, made a joke about how "polyamory is totally in this year." This joke was usually met with an awkward laugh, an inability to look at one another while attempting small talk, and followed up with an immediate parting of ways. The joke was totally off putting for a lot of people, but then I would think to myself that I know a few people that are in poly-amorous relationships. To be perfectly honest, I have never understood such a relationship so I decided to talk with the people I know that are in those relationships.

FORWARNING: The people I am friends with may be in polyamorous relationships, but are by no means the standard for such.

How it had been explained to me is that I should imagine everything I love and then imagine the difficulty of finding a lover that had all of those traits. I had didn't have to imagine long, I knew how difficult that could be. Then I was instructed to imagine that I had all those things. After a bit of imagining there was this grand sensation of joy. My friends told me that their relationships were like that: they had found all the traits they liked and collected them into the relationship. To be honest, a lot of those couples look happy.

Then I had some faults to them I noticed. I noticed that everyone is basically at control of the relationship initiator and this initiator has a favorite. Recently, I have seen a friend lose one of her lovers and, unfortunately, it happened to be her favorite of the group. It would seem to me that too much control on behalf of the initiator can become almost difficult in such situations, making them not delightful relationships. This could, of course, be a bias in opinion based on the information I viewed in my friend and therefore doesn't mean it's the final say on the matter.

Just Remember: Relationships are relationships, whether they are one-on-one or multiple-people-sharing-one-person they need to be respected.


-Future_Man_3000


P.S. - If you have any questions you want answered, feel free to contact me by email: futureman3000@yahoo.com