Shut Up and Take My Money!

Tis the time of year where the Tax Monster swings around and sucks the cash from your bank account. Sometimes he leaves a little bit behind if you're lucky. Provided that the monster leaves more than he takes, you can come to an awesome decision: save the money for future bills or use it on something gaudy and audacious. There lies the true cruelty of the Tax Monster, making you choose between levelheadedness or knocking down that wall and unleashing your crazy inner child that wants everything. I hope that you can deal with this in the way best for you.

Just Remember: Even if you end up saving all of you get back, you typically end up spending it on what I call a "Shitstorm Anomaly". This could be anything from needing a new car because someone stole your last one to paying off an emergency surgery because your appendix almost explode. Basically, spending it on that expensive TV right now probably isn't the best idea when you innards decide you suck and wish to locate to regions outside your body. Also, and I'm looking at you fellow nerds, buying that book cabinet that looks like the TARDIS is probably great for storing your stuff, but not so hot later on. Save up.

Intravenous Technology

Here we all are, fiddling with technology, not focused on one another, or awaiting the new technology to hit stores. A lot of us can't wait for the iphone 37 to come out with its newly integrated french fry cutter and lobotomy function. I know I have fallen prey to time-wasting Skeeball apps, time I could have spent better with someone I care about or finishing one of my projects.  In the grand scheme of things, what is the point of all this technology? Why do we play Wii Bowling when we could have more fun with friends at a bowling ally? Why do we insist on creating digital farms when we complain about making our own beds? I think, in terms of Terminator, the machines are winning. So I ask, What are we doing to stop them?

Just Remember: It's ok to use tech if it helps make your life simple, just don't let it get in the way of your life.

Let's Try That Crazy Pizza Monster's Place Across the Street

For the past month or so, when I'm at work and have forgotten my lunch, I have been calling up delivery places from time to time. One of the places I call I end up calling more the food and less for the service. Every time I call the place the phone is picked up by a morose guy that is focused on being so dispassionate that he could fit in well as a dementor in the Harry Potter world. I'm fine dealing with people with oddball attitudes, I do it every day; however, this guy is a little too much to deal with.

So what is there to do?

I could have kept going and gave that guy crap or just tried something new. Sure, I could have complained the first restaurant and, as a matter of fact, I did talk with someone, but I asked if their employee was fine. As it turned out, they had been trying to get him help for a long time. Not really much point in arguing with that. So I let it be. I tried a new place down the street and it was fantastic. Is it the type of food I normally want? No, but the food is still great and the people there are a lot nicer.

Just Remember: If someone else sucks, sometimes it is easier just to be the bigger person and walk away.

Visiting Idols

Those of us who are lovers of movies or books would love to meet the characters. Sometimes, more often than not, the characters are made up, but the places have the potential to be real. Where it may be unlikely to go get drinks with Jonathan Ames (Bored to Death) or play board games with Igor (Dork Tower), it is totally possible to visit the places scene in that show or that book, respectively.

Is it as exotic as going to a different country for spring break? No.

Is it just as cool. Yes.

Should you take pictures? Damn right!

Just Remember: A few great places to visit would definitely be Chicago (Dark Knight), Pegasus Games in Madison (Dork Tower), and the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Hollywood (Blazing Saddles).

Tykes, Mics, Jockeys, and Schmucks

Every now and again we all like to return to the habits from days of yore. Some people try biking to work, others try learning Latin, and others still try reenactments. I've never really tried any of those thoroughly, but today I tried listening to a morning radio show. The topic brought up was should parents bring babies to the movies. Keep in mind that he had a story that lead up to this topic. Apparently, the radio show host had been at a children's movie with a friend because he had heard it was good. As he watched it he began to dislike the movie, but was also annoyed by a family in the back row of this nearly empty theater. The family, a single mother with baby and two other kids, didn't seem to understand that they should leave by his throat clearing. The host then ask listeners what they would do.

I called in and asked why he didn't talk with the parent. He took offense and asked why there had to be a mother with kids at the movie. I retorted that there is a different rule set for kids than with adults. He honed in on it, focusing on the movie being PG-13 and how a baby shouldn't be there. Then I explained how a rating means nothing if a parent gives permission. My inability to blow hot smoke up his ass seemed to really get under his skin and so he hung up on me.

After this, I recalled hearing radio show hosts growing up and a lot of them seemed pretty on the level and couldn't honestly think of one being crappy. Sure, the topic was broad enough to let anyone have a right answer, but it seems to me that he didn't want a sharing of ideas. He wanted to be told he was right. I can't really stand by that. Don't let this happen to you. Let fools know when they are wrong.

Just Remember: Radio show hosts, news monsters, acting robots, and any other time of person behind a microphone aren't necessarily intelligent. They just have a louder voice.

Work Place Wind Up

No matter who you are, there is someone that you work with and, by the grace of God, they know how to push every one of your buttons while coming off as a cool person to everyone else. Sure, they may be evil, and on more than one attempt they have tried to steal your blood. Having a workplace rival is a total pain. Sure they can do all that stuff, but it creates a rivalry that splits the rest of staff to be with or against you. This can lead to a multitude of other potential methods of revenge that can revenge from stealing of lover to blackmail. Of course, the average person might report to the boss, which may lead to action, but it can also backfire. You can be seen as an office instigator.

How does one go about this?

Simple.

Go about your work. Ignore them. Be pleasant, but get through the day. People will notice and things will work themselves out.

Just Remember: What you do at work is at work. The people there can only effect you outside of work if you let them.

Where's all that Junk?

Hopefully it is in your trunk or the backseat of your car, but it is most likely all over your place. You may be looking around your place from where you currently are with your computer. What do you see? Your collection of magazines? A stack of films that you watched once and vowed never to watch again? I suppose the next question to ask is Why are you still holding on to those things? Honestly, that stuff, like clothes in your closet that will "totally fit" if you lose a few pounds, is simply clutter. There is hardly any need for it.

What should you do with it then? Easy. Challenge your friends to a giant, Thuderdome-styled tournament to determine who gains control of more space in your apartment. Winner not only gets more space, but also a five dollar gift card to Hot Topic.

Of course, you could always sell extraneous junk. What can it hurt? You sell your stuff and you may be more surprised by how much you get for it. Otherwise through away the unnecessary.

Just Remember: You see slips of paper that all have meaning in some way, but everyone else sees clutter.